Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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