i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
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