I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Is it penis luge time yet?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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