this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
