My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
