I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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