Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
