This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Damn victory sex feels great
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
