"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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