They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
