Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm both gender and math confused
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
