For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
