what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
