That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
