His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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