and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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