he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
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No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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