Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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