This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
