I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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