There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
