well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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