I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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