She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
love makes seman taste better
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
