No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize