1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
