using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Randomize
