There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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