Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
