You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
