There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
