my shit smells like andre
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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