Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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