yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My bed smells like the plague
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize