He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
