I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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