yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
