THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
