i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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