true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
