She is in my trunk
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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