I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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