i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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