she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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