i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
