He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together