Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.

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(214): View more from Texas

Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,

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(518): View more from New York

no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter

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(925): View more from California

you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(905): View more from Ontario

Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.

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(443): View more from Maryland

His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole

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(972): View more from Texas

Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence

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