I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Dating After Heartbreak
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.