True but thats because hes a fetus.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
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I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
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Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with