Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.

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(403): you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion. http://tfl.nu/ldji

Replies (16) Good night (6728) Bad night (627)
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(440): View more from Ohio

oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?

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(440): oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill? http://tfl.nu/149i

Replies (85) Good night (949) Bad night (7356)
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(631): View more from New York

im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets

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(631): im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/3y00

Replies (65) Good night (8158) Bad night (763)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.

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(615): Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka. http://tfl.nu/pwqr

Replies (15) Good night (971) Bad night (8003)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..

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(615): it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex.. http://tfl.nu/6q5t

Replies (14) Good night (986) Bad night (3186)
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(513): View more from Ohio

The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.

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(513): The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk. http://tfl.nu/ersv

Replies (2) Good night (3604) Bad night (761)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?

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(304): what's not responsible about a pool full of beer? http://tfl.nu/7inf

Replies (8) Good night (2994) Bad night (734)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.

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(978): As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine. http://tfl.nu/djyf

Replies (24) Good night (2925) Bad night (1527)
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(480): View more from Arizona

We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.

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(480): We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her. http://tfl.nu/hua5

Replies (5) Good night (2711) Bad night (551)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself

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(815): I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself http://tfl.nu/6sc5

Replies (2) Good night (1084) Bad night (497)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.

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(303): Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night. http://tfl.nu/q0n9

Replies (7) Good night (1110) Bad night (441)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.

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(612): I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo. http://tfl.nu/h4b8

Replies (15) Good night (565) Bad night (980)
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(541): View more from Oregon

One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.

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(541): One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse. http://tfl.nu/w6rf

Replies (2) Good night (669) Bad night (381)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?

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(812): Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner? http://tfl.nu/i2e0

Replies (13) Good night (468) Bad night (235)
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(770): View more from Georgia

His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis

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(770): His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis http://tfl.nu/4skm

Replies (6) Good night (424) Bad night (324)

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