Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I need water and some morals
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize