I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i think i have herpe
just one?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
