one two three fourrrrnication!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
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no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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