I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
