I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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