This gyro tastes like lonliness
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
