You really coming over, don't trick.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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