Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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