You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
