she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
