You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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