in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i think i have herpe
just one?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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