You really coming over, don't trick.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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