im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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