walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
